Girls are mean. There is no other way to put it. When I say that, I’m not necessarily saying ALL girls are mean, but some girls are. Personally, I learned that the hard way, it was something that happened all summer long. Well, my first encounter with this mean girl was 4 years ago. She’s definitely a mean girl, you can spot her from across the room staring at you, and whispering to her friend, then laughing while staring directly at you. Key characteristic right there. That had NEVER happened to me, not in elementary school, middle school, ninth or tenth grade.. NEVER. I didn’t understand it at all. All through the time I was there that night, she never tried to include me or introduce herself, even after I introduced myself. I continued going to hang out with that group because the others in the group were so friendly and welcoming, but she never ever acted friendly towards me. The hurt feelings started there.
The fourth year I had known this mean girl, if you even want to call it that, I learned she wished that I had never come to that group and that I was obnoxious, rude, and completely unfriendly. I’m not going to lie, that hurt, very deeply. (The group was an organized club) She decided to yell those insults at me at a meeting we had a few weeks later, which made things much worse. It was extremely hard not yell back at her, but I’ve always been taught that when you yell, you’ve lost control of the situation. The only logical choice I could come up with, was to sit calmly and let her scream. I refused to let her drag me to her level. My best friend was doing all the yelling for me, until I asked her to stop. It sucks to be the adult in a situation, as much as I wanted to scream all the things I’ve heard about her, and seen her do, I couldn’t.
So many tears were shed after that night, so much anger was built up, and so much confusion about why she felt like that was running rampant in my mind. I couldn’t figure it out. Things ran as smooth as they could for the next two months, but it all went sour again. Understand, this mean girl has had a rougher life than I have, her home life isn’t great, but it’s not awful. She’s used that as a crutch her whole life getting pity from anyone who would give it. I was the only person that saw through that and expected her to move on with her life. The past can be so destructive, and you can stay trapped for so long. Another meeting was called because of the tension between us, and she screamed at me again, only this time, revealing she had spread vicious rumors about me, and talked behind my back. I honestly didn’t think that I could be torn down any lower than after the first meeting. I found out quickly that I could be torn down lower. I left the meeting and left the club because I realized I couldn’t stay.
The next week was awful, I was sick over the situation and hurt feelings. I can’t tell you how many people told me that she’s a troublemaker, she’s not worth the time to think anymore about it, none of it’s true, or you’re better off now, it still hurt so deeply. After about two weeks I came to the realization that she wasn’t going to apologize for anything, she simply wasn’t sorry. You’ll be able to move on so much faster if you forgive the apologies you never got. When you do that, you’re not weak, you’re showing that you’re strong enough to let it go and move on with your life. You’re strong enough to say I don’t want to stay in this position forever.
As bad as those three months were, and as hurtful as that mean girl was, I’m a better person now. Some people are just going to be mean to you for no reason at all. They just want to be mean to someone to make themselves feel better. I spent so many wondering why that girl didn’t like me. Was it what I wore? Was it what I said? What was it? It had to be something because people are mean for a reason, right? Wrong. People don’t have to have a reason to be mean. You can’t control what they do or what they say, but you can control what you do and what you say. Remember that feeling you felt, in my case, crying on my pillow at 2 a.m. because I couldn’t stop thinking about what the mean girl had said about me. I will always remember that feeling, nothing will ever make me forget that. But remember that feeling and promise yourself that you will NEVER make someone else feel like that. Promise yourself you will never make someone cry on their pillow at 2 a.m. just because you want to be mean, because you want to feel big and bad.
So all in all, some people are just mean, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Control yourself, control your actions, forgive, and move on.
“But someday I’ll be livin’ in a big ole’ city, and all you’re ever gonna be in mean. One day I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me, and all you’re ever gonna be in mean.” -Taylor Swift